[on finitude] quotes from Praise for Argonauts, by Maggie Nelson (2015, Melville House) p 174,175

"It's easy enough to say, I ll be the right kind of finite or sodomitical mother. I ll let my baby know where the me and the not-me begin and end, and withstand whatever rage ensues. I ll give as much as I've got to give without losing sight of my own me. I ll let him know that I'm a person with my own needs and desires, and over time he'll come to respect me for elucidating such boundaries, for feeling real as he comes to know me as real."

"The mother of an adult child sees her work completed and undone at the same time (Eula Biss). If this holds true, I may have withstand not only rage, but also my undoing. Can one prepare for one's undoing? How has my mother withstood mine? Why do I continue to undo her, when what I want to express above all else is that I love her very much?

What is good is always being destroyed: one of Winnicott's main axioms."